New article on

Someone to hold me:  As I face my son’s inevitable death, I realize how little I once understood grief, or how to help a person in pain.

13 responses to “New article on

  1. Emily-
    Simply beautiful. You are here.

  2. These lines–“Stories: the only thing we’ve got, the arbiters of this human process of rocketing between hope and despair, and it’s why every person’s is vitally important. It’s why it doesn’t matter if you’re a mess, or put together, or even a success according to arbitrary standards; what matters is that you are conscious of the world around you, in all of its terrible beauty”–describe a magic within this magical entry. Thank you.

  3. Your writing, as always, is beautiful and heartbreaking, and leaves me wishing that I had the ability to take away Ronan’s illness and the pain that you and your family are suffering.

  4. what a beautiful description of our ultimate humanity. Even/especially through this great pain you are experiencing with Ronan, there is so much beauty to behold.
    It means so much to have another share their raw and rare experience in the appreciation and evolution of our human souls and our experience in this life. We are here to learn and to share our learning.

  5. Mom of young dancer

    Emily- my 18 month-old daughter died six years ago. The physical intensity of grief that you describe in your blog is so accurate. I know what it feels like to want to tear my own heart out through the chest, because it is pounding and swelling and is in desperate need of relief. I send you a crushing hug through the aether, one mother to another.

  6. Emily. Peace to your little Seal, now, and to you – maybe not now when the mere idea of peace is probably unbearable, but someday. Your writing, wrenching, searing, true, is so hard but so important to read, and thank you for that. It has made me so much more clutch to me my own, love them ruthlessly, and treasure each little moment and seemingly trivial thing. Thank you. I really can’t thank you enough. And I, like many others who read this, wish that I could be there with you to give you that giant, crushing hug, in silence and tears.

  7. emily – your writing is so honest and beautiful. my heart is shattered for you, your husband and your beautiful ronan. i am a stranger who has been following your story, and i think of you all every single day. i have no adequate words. i am so, so very sorry for what you are all going through.

  8. I so wish that I could help you in some way. Help Ronan and his daddy. I live too far away to give you a real hug, but I know how much a hug can mean when all is so….. so what? So painful? It seems more than painful. Beyond what most of us ever experience.
    I’m sending you a hug through the screen of your computer, hoping it can help in some small way.

  9. I left you a comment over at Salon and then found my way here. Your essay has affected me in many profound ways both big and small. I have printed it out so that I may read it again, underline and write in the margins. Reading it was like having a deeply personal connecting to something I know in my core to be true. Thank you for your thoughtful words and for not being afraid of your human-ness. The tagline to my own blog is: “When you are your authentic self you give others the unspoken permission to be their authentic selves.” This is why I became a writer.

  10. Emily – Like others, I you wouldn’t have to be facing this situation. But given that is not possibe, I just hope you will be sorrounded by people that will be able to hug you and hold you together when the pain and the grief threaten to break you apart. I lost my child nearly 3 months ago, and the tenderness of others is one of the few things that seems to help (even when language fails completely). A big hug for you and for your little boy.

  11. Emily, my heart is in my throat for you, the gorgeous Ronan and his father. Your humanity and authenticity have affected me to the core and inspired me to try harder to be more human. My daughter is the same age as Ronan. I wish you all..what..strength and peace and love.

  12. I’m with you and your little Seal.

  13. Dear Emily,
    My younger daughter is a similar age to Ronan and my heart breaks each time I read your blog. Your writing is so beautiful and poised, all while you and your family are going through the most unimaginable experience. I have great trouble understanding why such unfair things happen to the beautifully innocent and fight back tears of frustration constantly as I read about Ronan. But, I am so inspired to be like you – the best parent to my child that I can possibly be, whatever our circumstances. As a single parent to two toddlers, I am in awe of your strength and dedication to Ronan and try to give my children the best of me. Ronan is so lucky to have you for his mother.

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